This Is What It Is
by SomewhereBeyondReality
Summary: "Everything's changing. Chandler's committing, moving in with a girl, looking at her like she's the only woman in the world...And I'm the screw up. It's not a good feeling." Ross reflects on Monica and Chandler's unlikely relationship. Takes place early in Season 6 when Monica and Chandler move in together. Mondler. Companion piece to 'Whatever It Is' but works as a standalone.


**Title:** This Is What It Is  
**Author**: SomewhereBeyondReality  
**Rating**: K  
**Summary:** _"Everything's changing. Chandler's committing, moving in with a girl, looking at her like she's the only woman in the world...And I'm the screw up. It's not a good feeling." Ross reflects on Monica and Chandler's unlikely relationship. Takes place early in Season 6 when Monica and Chandler move in together. Mondler. Companion piece to 'Whatever It Is' but works as a standalone._  
**Disclaimer:** Yeah, you've got me, I'm a Friends writer. After 10 award winning seasons, I decided to branch out and try fan fiction.  
**A/N:** Another Ross/Rachel vs. Chandler/Monica fic but from Ross's perspective. I always found it ironic in later seasons that Chandler, who was originally the relationship disaster, and Monica, the unfavourite, were happily married but Ross who had his life together pre-series and Rachel who so many guys wanted, were so screwed up. This addresses that.

X-X

They're moving in together? _Monica _and _Chandler _are moving together? Give me a break! I've barely got used to them dating, and now they're doing _this?_

I mean this is a huge step. I've lived with both of them: I know about all their annoying habits. How's Chandler's going to deal with Monica's towel categorizing? And how'll she like his pre-morning coffee jokes? Maybe because they've been neighbours for so long (their apartments are like one big house already), the move will be easier but even so...

I think about all this when I help Chandler pack up.

"Seriously," I ask. "Are you and Monica r_eally _moving in together?

Chandler glances up from the box he's taping. "No, I'm just bubble wrapping everything I own for fun." He says dryly.

I roll my eyes, used to his snarky answers. "Ha ha. Seriously, I know I went crazy over the room thing but why are you doing this? Has Monica pressured you into it?"

That's what worries me. Normally Monica knows Chandler well enough to deal with his issues, but she's Geller and I know firsthand Geller's push for commitment too fast. If Chandler feels pressured then he could freak out and bolt and then...

Chandler watches the worry flit across my face and smiles slightly, looking strangely calm for himself.

"Hey," He says seriously, "Relax man, she didn't suggest moving in together. I did."

"_You _did?"

"Yeah."

"But – but – _why_?"

"Um, because she feeds me really well?"

"Chandler!"

"What? I love your sister. I love her and I want to move in with her! What's so crazy about that? We've been dating for a year."

I narrow my eyes evenly. "Something happened didn't it?"

"No..."

"Chandler. What's brought this on?"

Chandler sighs, looking guilty. "Fine." He admits, not meeting my gaze. "But promise you won't freak out?"

"About _what_?" I ask suspiciously.

"While we were in Vegas, Monica and I almost – and may I emphasise the _almost, _got married."

"_WHAT?! _Why would you _do _that?"

Chandler raises his eyebrows sardonically. "_You're _asking _me_?"

"Hey!" I feel insulted and then gloomily reconsider. "Ok...fair point. But..._why_?"

"I don't know. We'd just made up from a big fight, she'd told me I was the love of her life, we were gambling a lot and winning...it seemed like a good idea y'know?"

"Uh, sure. But why didn't you?"

Chandler smirks ironically. "You and Rachel. We were waiting at the chapel to get married and saw you guys. That's when we realized how stupid we were."

"Seriously? We were your – your reality check?"

"Pretty much."

"That's – that's – that's just – argh." I splutter irritably and return to taping.

This is so unfair. If it wasn't for an order of vows,_ I'd_ be celebrating a close escape and _Chandler _would be agonizing over annulment papers.

Or would he? I falter briefly, feeling confused. Until now I'd have bettered 50 to 1 at the craps table on Chandler ever getting married. But (mostly thanks to my little sister) he'sgetting better at this relationship stuff.

I sigh, feeling jumbled inside. For ages Joey, Chandler and I have played our roles with women. Joey's the Charmer, the Casanova, the one night stand who seduces girls and leaves them dry. I'm Commitment Guy, Boyfriend Material, the one girls stay with for the long haul.

And Chandler's the Woman Repeller, the Screw Up, too nice to pull off one night stands but too scared to commit.

And those roles fit ok? Joey enjoys the sex, I like being in a relationship and Chandler... I haven't thought about how Chandler's felt with his role, he just makes his deprecating jokes and gets on with it.

Only now everything's changing. Chandler's committing, moving in with a girl, holding her hand when she gets stressed, looking at her like she's the only woman in the world.

And I'm the screw up, failure to make it work, bottom off the dating ladder. (_Three divorces, three divorces, three divorces)_

Honestly, I hate the change. My stomach sinks when I think about my dating prospects. Maybe this is how Chandler felt before watching Joey with his strings of women and me with my girlfriends and wives. I should have sympathised with him more because it feels c_rap. _Is that how far I've fallen? I'm like _Chandler_? Chandler, the self described emotionally stunted cripple?

But yeah, while he and my little sister are happily shacking up and going all _domestic, _I'm busy divorcing Wife Number 3 and convincing Phoebe I'm so _not _in love with Rachel again.

And I'm _not._ I can't go down that road again. That Ross-And-Rachel-Road is too complicated. Our horrible break up (does _no one _understand the phrase 'we were on a break?'), the pining, that stupid list, her 18 page letter, and all the girls I let go because of her! Julie, Bonnie, Emily...

Argh. She's not worth it. It's too painful. Maybe Monica and Chandler can make it work, but Rachel and I can't.

None of this makes sense! How come they can make it work and we can't? Logically Rachel and I have much better chances! Chandler's all screwed up by his parents divorcing and neglecting him and making him perform in drag shows, and Monica's got her issues thanks to Mom. They're the two most neurotic people I know. How the hell did they build a functional relationship but Rachel and I (whose childhoods were pretty great), keep failing?!

_Maybe, _my brain muses, _the fact they were never loved makes their relationship much more precious. They work on it because love is never a given for them. You and Rachel expect it, Monica and Chandler work for it._

Shut up brain. Damn logic and psychological analysis.

Yeah my relationship with Rachel was good, great in fact but looking back I realize how complicated we were. I remember the good times, like our first date and our first kiss. But I also remember the bad stuff, like fighting over Mark or Rachel working late or her returning my gifts. We were happy sure, but we weren't like – like...

We weren't like Monica and Chandler.

Because Monica and Chandler just fit y'know? Sure they have fights, but once they've made up...everything's over. Forgotten. Finito. Done. Rach and I are still rehashing the same things over and over. (And I want to stop but I don't know how).

And they _appreciate_ each other, like their hobbies and jobs. She moans about work, he listens. He rambles on about weird, Chandler stuff and she pays attention. I wish Rach had done the same. She was never interested in my dinosaur stories or what happened at the museum. (And ok, I didn't care good about her work either, but I'm not _interested _in fashion and clothes. Is that ok?)

They even do stuff together. Not just date-sex-romantic stuff (I don't want to imagine _that_) but normal stuff. Friend stuff. Playing foosball, discussing books together, doing crosswords, playing tennis, watching movies, talking. Rachel and I...our dates were great but we never had much in common.

Ok, Phoebe hasn't labelled them 'Lobsters' yet and Chandler hasn't yearned for her since they met (at least I don't think he has though there was the whole 'Boyfriend Material' thing a few years ago) and Monica's never been the hot head cheerleader every guy wanted.

But maybe looking for that perfect romance is stupid. I spend so much time planning and wishing everything was perfect that I miss out on the real thing. As annoying and dysfunctional and neurotic as they are...they're happy. What they have is real.

I just wish they'd give me the formula.


End file.
